It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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