She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
