fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize