I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
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My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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