Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
