She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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