I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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