Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
