I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
