super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
