Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
