what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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