I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She needs sedatives and a leash
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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