Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
