Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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