Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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