she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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