I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
