That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
