I must be too annoying 4 u.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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