i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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