tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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