two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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