Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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