I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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