i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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