Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
