PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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