So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize