BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
