I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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