I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize