So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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