Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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