I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
