make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
