I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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