stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
