I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
