in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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