The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
