as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sobbing to NWA
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
