non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
