There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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