I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
