ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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