You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks