I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..