North Korea, Best Korea!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom