Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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