I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
