She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
