Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
