I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
