He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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