new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
