Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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