yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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