its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
