Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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