Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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