Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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