Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've blown a few things in my day
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we're making bets on your personal life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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