i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
